


Fight me

by indigo120



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Food Fight, Hispanic Lance (Voltron), Keith doesnt know how feelings work, M/M, Mutual Pining, idiot boys wont say theyre in love, inappropriate use of the goo machine lmao, lance is dumb, she/her pronouns for pidge, someone pls help these idiot boys, they swear a lot because teenage boys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-26 22:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7592089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indigo120/pseuds/indigo120
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Keith and Lance don't hate each other, they just fight a lot, that's what rivals do. It's something they sometimes even enjoy. But when they're forced to get along by Shiro and Allura they realize what they have is not just a rivalry. They're friends. And maybe, hopefully, even more.</p>
<p>Or: Five times Lance and Keith fight and one time they don't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

1.

Keith and Lance aren’t rivals. At least Keith doesn’t think so. He doesn’t go around proclaiming they are and that they hate each other. That’s all the Blue paladin. Keith doesn’t hate Lance. Not at all. But the boy can be so goddamn annoying, so frustrating, can you blame him for taking the bait whenever Lance goads him into a fight.

‘I can’t believe you two fought again!’ Allura’s eyes are blazing, ‘you are paladins, you’re supposed to protect the universe not kill each other!’ She’s not shouting, she almost never does, but her voice holds authority like only a princess can. Keith and Lance both sink further into their seats. 

Shiro’s standing next to her, arms crossed over his chest, he looks disappointed. He hasn’t said anything yet, Keith doesn’t want him to, Allura chewing them out is enough, he doesn’t want Shiro weighing in on it as well.

‘You have a responsibility, one so grave you cannot endanger it by acting immature and childish. The universe is counting on us and you’re not taking it seriously.’ Keith begs to differ. He’s serious, he was the one training, Lance was the one who came in and fucked everything up. Keith is not the one always picking fights.

‘You need to learn how to get along, a bond outside of battling is just as important to improve how well you can fight with Voltron.’ She goes on, it’s nothing they haven’t heard before. Keith can see Lance rolling his eyes. 

‘So I came up with a new teambuilding exercise, just for the two of you.’ Keith doesn’t like the sound of that. He remembers the team building exercises they had to do, none of that was pleasant and if he has to do them with Lance alone it’s only going to be worse.

Just like Keith thought, Allura produces two handcuffs from behind her back.

‘No way.’ Lance complains, but Allura is already on him, securing the handcuff around Lance’s wrist and the back of his chair. Lance is struggling and Keith thinks he might be able to get away while Allura is busy with Lance. But then he meets Shiro’s gaze, who raises an eyebrow, challenging him to try. Keith sighs and slumps in his chair. He doesn’t resist when Allura handcuffs him too, but that doesn’t mean he’s pleased about it.

So now they’re cuffed to their chairs like two children who need a timeout.

‘This is ridiculous.’ Lance grumbles, pulling hard on the cuffs, they don’t give him even an inch. ‘What are we supposed to do like this?’ 

‘As long as you don’t stop acting like children you will be treated as children,’ Allura says, ‘You’re going to be stuck here until you apologize to each other.’ 

Keith and Lance look at each other, at first it’s just curious, because maybe they’ll make it easy for each other for once. It’s weird looking at each other like that, oddly intimate, it has been like this for a while, whenever they’re not fighting. Sometimes Keith catches himself looking for Lance, watching him, for no reason. He doesn’t really understand. Doesn’t want to understand or look further into it.

For a moment he thinks Lance is going to apologize. The next moment it’s gone and Lance is glaring at him. As if they rehearsed it they both turn away from each other.

‘Not gonna happen.’ Lance says.

‘Not in a million years.’ Keith agrees.

‘Have fun sitting in those chairs then.’ Allura retorts, her head held up high. She turns to leave.

‘Wait, what about my nose.’ Keith calls after her.

She doesn’t bother to turn back around and calls over her shoulder: ‘Healing pods are only for people who fight with good reasons.’ The door slams shut behind her. Great, Keith thinks.

‘Allura is right,’ Shiro speaks up, ‘we are supposed to be a team. With the way you are acting you’re jeopardizing the safety of the universe. I don’t care that you don’t like each other, this is bigger than you, you know that. So stop acting like children.’

With that, Shiro leaves too and they are left alone.

They don’t speak. Don’t even look at each other. At least, Lance doesn’t look at Keith, Keith would know, he’s been sneaking glances at Lance the whole time. It’s because Lance is being quiet, he tells himself, it’s weird.

An hour passes and they still haven’t said a word to each other. Keith isn’t planning to, he has nothing to apologize for, he thinks as he watches the steady drip of blood from his nose land on the table before him. The bleeding isn’t stopping and Keith wonders if maybe it’s actually broken. 

Lance had actually landed a hit on him this time and a good one too. If Keith wasn’t so angry he would be impressed. Not that Lance came off unscathed, his eye is already turning blue and Keith sees him wince every time he moves his torso, probably a few bruised ribs. Serves the jerk right.

Keith is really trying to mind his own business but from the corner of his eye he can see Lance squirming and wriggling his body in the weirdest positions.

‘What the hell are you doing?’ he asks.

‘Escaping.’ Is Lance’s simple answer, as he pulls hard on the hand that’s cuffed to the chair.

‘and you think that’s gonna work?’ Keith doesn’t bother to hide his contempt. It’s plain stupid and if Lance can’t see that he’s even more of a dumbass than Keith thought. Like Allura won’t haul his ass straight back here when she catches him, as if they aren’t keeping an eye on them right now.

‘You say that now, but I’ll be the one laughing when I walk out of here and you’re still stuck to your stupid chair.’ 

Keith rolls his eyes. Idiot, he thinks. ‘Why can’t you just apologize and they’ll let both of us go.’

‘You apologize, I didn’t do anything.’ 

‘You broke my nose!’ Keith wipes his hand across the underside of his nose, staining it with blood. He holds out his hand, showing the blood to Lance, as if he hadn’t been dripping all over the table. 

‘That’s your own fault, you hit me first!’ Lance counters.

‘you started with the- with the…’ Keith wracks his brain, it isn’t that he doesn’t remember, he was training, Lance made him lose focus, he doesn’t know what to call it. Lance raises an eyebrow and Keith feels his cheeks heat up with embarrassment. 

‘You were being annoying.’ He settles with.

‘Since when is being annoying rewarded by getting punched in the face.’ Lance complains and touches the tender skin under his eye, it’s already swelling up, tomorrow he’ll be walking around with an impressive blue eye. 

‘When the annoying person’s name is Lance and he messes up my training.’ Keith bites back. It wasn’t the first time either. Usually Keith tries to ignore it. But this time it resulted in Lance distracting him, Lance being in the way and almost getting his head blown off by the training droid.

‘Cálmate, I was just trying to talk to you, jeez.’

‘and you couldn’t just go waffle to Pidge or Hunk instead?’

‘Wow dude, Shiro has been on our case all week, saying we should try to get along, for the team and stuff.’ Keith blinks. Huh. ‘But fine, whatever, sorry that my presence is so annoying. I get it, you hate me, I’ll stay away from now on.’ 

Keith frowns, ‘I don’t hate you.’

Lance snorts. ‘Could have fooled me.’ He tries to turn his chair away, but Keith catches his shoulder with his free hand. This wasn’t right. Sure they got into fights a lot but he definitely didn’t hate Lance. There were lots of moments they got along just fine. Keith even dared to say they were friends. All the paladins were like family to him. How could Lance not see that. Besides, he wasn’t the one that usually started all these fights, it was Lance, with his unnecessary comments and silly behavior.

‘I don’t hate you.’ Keith repeats, ‘if anything you hate me!’

Lance looks at him with shock and disbelieve. ‘What the hell! What gave you that idea!’

This time it’s Keith’s turn to raise an eyebrow. ‘I don’t know, maybe because you say it like all the time.’ 

‘I was lying Keith, oh my god, have you ever heard of sarcasm. Of course I don’t hate you.’

Oh. 

‘but then why- You’re always picking fights with me!’ Keith accuses.

‘That’s because we’re rivals! We’re supposed to compete. Competition brings out the best in us and this way we’ll get better way faster.’ Lance says slamming his free fist on the table. He’s very passionate about it. ‘Besides,’ Lance pauses, he’s not looking at Keith any more, ‘I feel like it’s the only way to get you to talk to me.’

The look on Lance’s face does something weird to Keith’s stomach. Keith’s not used to seeing Lance like this, without his usual cheer and upbeat confidence. He feels bad, he doesn’t want Lance to feel that way. Yes, Keith’s closed off and reserved, he needs his space, but that doesn’t mean Lance should feel like this. He wants to smooth out the wrinkles in his brow, he wants to put a smile on that face again. 

Keith falters a bit, where did those thoughts come from? His chest feels tight and buzzing. Where has this come from? He recognizes the feeling of course. He’s not an idiot. He has felt it before, back in the Garrison. He just didn’t think… Lance of all people?

He takes a closer look at the boy next to him, like he’s already been doing but this time he allows himself to see. He doesn’t write it off as curiosity, he lets himself stare. 

And decides it doesn’t matter if it’s Lance. Because Lance is beautiful. Pretty dark blue eyes, gorgeous brown skin that gives off a bronze glow in the light of the castle, a dazzling smile. He’s known it, somewhere deep inside, this was a long time coming, but his breath still catches and suddenly he sees so much more. Lance is funny, he’s always trying to cheer people up with his jokes. He’s also loyal and hardworking, an incredibly kind and good person. 

Keith feels a bit overwhelmed, he wasn’t expecting this to happen while cuffed to a chair next to Lance. He also realizes he’s been quiet for a long while, he bites his lip, ‘You can talk to me any time you want,’ he tells Lance. And shit if that’s not the gayest thing he’s ever said. It puts a smile on Lance’s face though and that makes it all worth it.

‘Easier said than done, you’re not very approachable with a face like this.’ Lance smooths his hair over his forehead, turns his mouth into a very exaggerated upside down smile and pushes his eyebrows further down with his thumbs. It’s the ugliest scowl Keith’s ever seen. 

‘I don’t look like that!’ He protests. It doesn’t sound angry though, actually he sounds mildly amused. Because Lance is smiling he has those twinkling eyes that make his eyes look like galaxies.

‘You so do.’ Lance teases. He has turned back around and is leaning into Keith.

‘I take it back, never talk to me again.’ Keith says with a scowl, but his tone is light.

‘We’re probably better off as rivals anyway.’ Lance says. 

‘Rivals then?’ He asks the boy next to him.

‘Rivals.’ Lance agrees and then he smiles. A real genuine smile that Keith has seen a thousand times but never directed at him. It’s nice, it makes him feel warm inside. He wants more of that, but is unsure how to ask for it. He wants to bask in the light of Lance’s smile all day. 

Keith coughs. He needs to stop thinking like that immediately, crushing on Lance is fine, but thoughts like those cross a line. Lance is looking at him strangely now, probably because that was obviously a fake cough. He notices Lance’s blue eye again and figures oh why the hell not, since they’re being nice to each other anyway.

‘I ehm,’ Keith hesitates, fiddles with the handcuff around his wrist. ‘I’m sorry for punching you.’ He looks up hopefully. Wonders if he did that right, he has never apologized to Lance before about anything. He hopes this is enough to at least make up for this time. Who knows how many times Keith ignored Lance when Lance was just trying to be friendly. 

Lance looks surprised, a hint of pink colors his cheeks. ‘I- I’m sorry about breaking your nose.’ He says then. 

Immediately they both look at their handcuffs. No changes. Apparently Keith was wrong and they aren’t watching them through the surveillance cameras. Does that mean they’ll have to wait until they would check up on them? Keith groans.

‘I bet I can get out of these faster than you.’ Lance challenges, a smirk on his face.

Keith is about to tell him what a stupid idea that is, it won’t work. But then he remembers how Lance smiled at him, how beautiful he is and how he wants him to smile like that again. That they’re rivals. This is what rivals do. And it makes Lance smile. So Keith straightens his back and looks Lance straight in the eye.

‘Bring it on.’


	2. Chapter 2

2.

Coran’s cooking is horrible. Lance knows it, the other paladins know it, hell even Allura knows it. The only one who probably doesn’t realize is Coran himself. Lance isn’t ungrateful, not at all, it’s just that after months in space Lance would like to eat something that doesn’t consist out of green wet goop. He misses his mama’s cooking, hell he misses earth food in general.

It’s not surprising to anyone that eventually Lance throws a hissy fit.

‘No!’ he says, when Coran comes into the dining hall with another plate of questionable alien food. ‘I’ve had enough of this crappy food!’ he protests. Coran stops and looks at Lance with a hurt expression. 

‘Lance.’ Shiro warns, but Lance is not having it this time. He has put up with enough, he wants food, actual food. Cheeseburgers and fries, his mama’s enchiladas, anything but goo. 

‘I’m not eating that again.’ He states and crosses his arms over his chest. ‘I want actual food.’ 

Everyone sends Coran a nervous look, the man is frozen on the spot, but Lance doesn’t notice. He wants pizza and he wants it now.

‘Are you saying you don’t like my cooking?’ Coran asks, his eye twitching.

Allura lets out a nervous giggle. ‘Of course not, that’s not what he means!’

‘Lance is just homesick.’ Hunk pitches in, ‘He misses earth food.’

‘I miss earth food too.’ Pidge admits with a sigh, she eyes the food goo sadly. See, Lance is not the only one here who is tired of it.

‘Yeah because this stuff is gross!’ he exclaims. It’s not really. Hunk has managed to make edible things with the goo. It’s just always the same and Lance is sick of it.

Coran is twirling his mustache like he usually does when he’s trying to keep his cool, his face slowly reddening. Lance doesn’t notice, Lance prattles on. ‘I want something with actual bite! Something with substance, greasy, anything but goo!’

He wasn’t expecting Coran to explode. Nobody was.

‘Well if you think you can do so much better why don’t you cook for us from now on!’ Coran shouts, he dumps the plate of goo on the table, hides his face behind his hands and storms out of the dining hall in an overly dramatic fashion, the way only Coran can.

‘Coran, wait!’ Allura is up on her feet and after him before anyone can stop her.

‘Dude.’ Hunk says. ‘You gotta apologize, like immediately.’ Now all eyes are on Lance and he can feel something uneasy bubble in his stomach. He didn’t mean to upset Coran, he just misses earth. He misses earth so much, food is only a small part of it, but it was the final straw. Lance sighs, realizing the mistake he has made.

‘Lance,’ Shiro addresses him, disappointment clear in his eyes. This is the third time this week Shiro has looked at him like that. Lance feels like it’s one time too many. ‘After dinner you’re going to apologize.’

Lance nods and digs into the food goo. It tastes bland.

Coran accepts his apology. Knows Lance was just worked up and misses his home. But apparently Lance’s outburst has awakened an idea in Coran. A new teambuilding exercise. 

And that’s how Lance finds himself in the kitchen the next day, with a kiss the cook apron tied around his waist. He doesn’t even want to know where Coran got that apron or why. It doesn’t matter, the problem is that now Lance has to cook. Don’t get him wrong, Lance is actually a good cook, his mama raised him well. It’s just that he has no idea what to do with space food. It’s nothing like earth food, he has no idea how to make it tasty. All he can do is guess.

The worst part however, is that he’s in the kitchen with Keith. Keith. Mr. I-lived-in-the-desert-for-a-year-and-only-survived-on-cup-noodles-which-are-healthy-right? It was Allura’s idea, of course, she thought this could serve as another way to make Lance and Keith bond more. 

Well it’s not a good exercise, it’s the worst, Lance thinks. All he’s been doing is guiding Keith and making sure they don’t blow up the kitchen. It’s ridiculous, you’d think that someone who lived in the desert on their own would be able to take care of themselves better. Keith doesn’t even know how to use the stove. As good as that boy is with a sword, he’s a disaster in the kitchen. 

If it had been anyone else Lance would have found it endearing that someone could be so bad in the kitchen. But this is Keith and Keith’s a goddamn pain in the ass, not even the frilly apron he’s wearing can change Lance’s mind about that.

At least now he has finally found something he’s better at than Keith.

The only thing Keith isn’t that bad at is chopping things. So that’s what Lance ordered Keith to do, while he seasons the food and cooks the vegetables. If you can call them that. Lance isn’t sure they’re the same thing. 

‘Don’t mix those two.’ Lance tells Keith and snatches one of the weird looking food items from Keith’s cutting board. 

‘What do you mean I can’t mix this together?’ 

‘Because that’s meat and this is fruit. It would be fucking horrible that’s why. Besides I didn’t tell you to chop that, why did you think that’s a good idea.’ Lance snipes.

‘I’m sorry, I thought this was a team effort,’ Keith hisses. 

‘Not when you don’t even know how the stove works.’ Lance shoots back. He tries to glare at Keith but that’s a bit hard when the boy in front of him is dressed in a baby blue frilled apron and has his hair tied up. 

It’s stupid, Lance thinks, Keith is stupid. It’s not fair he can still look this good, in a silly apron that’s covered in stains. Keith is an asshole, he shouldn’t be this handsome. It’s not fair to Lance’s poor bisexual heart.

Lance turns away, focuses on preparing the food again. Their saving grace is that Hunk was so kind to bring some things akin to earth food from the last planet they visited. And while they’re foreign and weird Lance has at least enough knowledge to not mix the questionable fruit with the questionable meat.

‘Why can’t we just serve the goo and be done with it.’ Keith complains as he works his knife aggressively into the Guashniv, as Coran had called it. Lance still doesn’t know what that means, but he knows it tastes like chicken and he can work with chicken. He hopes he can cook it like chicken too.

‘Because that would mean we lose. We’re in here because we don’t want the goo anymore, remember? That’s why we’re in this mess in the first place.’ 

Keith rolls his eyes. ‘The only one with a problem was you. Goo tastes just fine to me.’

Lance snorts. ‘You have no concept of good food, you ate noodles for a year.’ He rummages through the pantry, looking for something that will go well with chicken. He remembers something that Hunk used as a substitute for potatoes, that could work.

‘Or maybe I’m just not a giant crybaby like you.’ He hears Keith mutter under his breath. Lance narrows his eyes, it’s been a while since Keith has been like this. Ever since that time in the dining hall. Keith has been nicer to him, not rising to his bait so easily. Lance doesn’t mind exactly, honestly it’s funny, because Keith is actually trying really hard. 

Lance can see Keith hasn’t forgotten the things Lance told him. The thing is Keith’s so incredibly awkward about it.

That’s why he’s been missing this, their fights, the competition. He wants Keith to look at him without feeling uncomfortable or forcing himself to be nice to Lance. They’re rivals for god’s sake, didn’t they establish that. So Lance doesn’t hesitate for a second, his finger closes on something round and hard, before he knows it he has chucked it at the back of Keith’s unsuspecting head.

Keith yelps, grabs at his head with his free hand. He turns around with murder in his eyes, well, maybe not murder, but the big butcher’s knife in his hand certainly is intimidating. Lance gulps. So much for this team building exercise. 

However Lance realizes he doesn’t really care, because now he’s got Keith’s attention, like he wanted.

‘What the hell Lance?!’ Keith shouts. He slams his knife down into the chopping board, so damn hard Lance is certain it went straight through. He has seen that boy shirtless, Keith is hiding serious muscle under that stupid jacket of his. He bet Keith could break that chopping board with his bare hands if he wanted to, which just isn’t fair. 

He blinks and is hit in the face with a slimy substance. His own fault, he supposes, for getting off track. It’s the fake chicken, he realizes, they look at each other, both quiet. Keith is watching him like a hawk, but he can see he’s trying to hide his smug smile, and that’s it for Lance.

‘That’s our dinner you just threw at me!’ He yells, grappling for something he can throw back at the red paladin. The hard potato-like things are first and Keith is screaming bloody murder, throwing them right back at Lance. It’s a miracle nobody has come to check up on them already. 

Once Lance is out of potatoes he starts looking for something else. He remembers the time they got attacked by the goo machine, how it had splashed goo everywhere like some kind of haywire gun. He eyes it and grins. 

‘No.’ Says Keith. ‘Don’t you dare.’ Lance is already jumping for it.

Keith tackles him to the ground, but not before Lance can take hold of the rubber hose and yank it from the wall. They wrestle to get hold of the nozzle, awkwardly crawling along the floor to get to it, Lance on his stomach and Keith on top of him trying to hold him down. A few times Lance almost has it and every time Keith knocks it further back. Until Lance flips onto his back, knees Keith in the ribs and manages to escape his grip.

Keith snatches his ankle but it’s too late. Lance turns around, grinning like a mischievous imp, goo nozzle in hand. He doesn’t give Keith time to get away, the boy can’t bring out a single word before he’s met with a face full of goo.

Lance throws his head back and laughs, the look on Keith’s face is priceless. 

‘I am going to kill you.’ Keith growls and Lance is positively wheezing right now. His cheeks hurt and stomach is cramping that’s how much he’s laughing, he can barely breath. At any other moment Keith would have been intimidating but right now, with his face covered in goo he looks ridiculous.

Lance’s grip on the hose is weak and he almost doesn’t realize Keith steals it from his grasp. His laughter quiets down. Suddenly Keith’s on top of him, holding him down with a single hand on his chest, curse him and his strong hands, and squeezing his legs with powerful thighs. 

‘Keith,’ Lance squeaks, looking over the goo nozzle to meet Keith’s eyes. Goo is still dripping from his face, but he’s smirking now, eyes shining with mirth. Lance gulps and holds his hands up in defense. ‘Keith, buddy, mi mejor amigo, don’t do this.’

‘Should have thought about that before you shot me in the face.’ He practically purrs. Lance freezes, because Keith shouldn’t be talking to him like that, not in that tone of voice. It does things to Lance. Things he’s been trying to suppress for a while now. It shouldn’t send shivers down his spine. 

He tries to fight Keith off, grips the hand on his chest and Keith’s shoulder but the boy easily twists his hand away and pins them above his head. Keith raises an eyebrow and Lance blushes, embarrassed that he was so easily overpowered. He still struggles in Keith’s hold but it’s obvious who has the upper hand here. ‘You should train more.’ Keith points out, Lance grits his teeth.

‘You shouldn’t train so damn much.’ He huffs and wriggles a bit but he can’t even begin to think of a way to get free, Keith has him pinned down with strong arms and is far more trained in hand to hand combat. 

Keith snickers, levels the goo gun with his face, Lance takes a deep breath. He’s not ready to give up. ‘Shooting a man while he’s down, very brave.’ He teases, Keith rolls his eyes.  
‘Don’t think you can guilt me into not shooting you.’ Keith says.

‘It’s ok, I will forgive this immoral act.’ Lance acquiesces, ‘it’s not like I care if you shoot me in the face. I have four siblings, trust me, you get used to a lot. My little brother Samuel once dumped the entire fishbowl on my head because it was my turn to clean it. Don’t worry the fish was fine, already out of the bowl, he wasn’t that heartless.’ Lance is rambling, he knows it, Keith knows it. He shuts his mouth with a start, so sudden his teeth click together. 

Keith hums, ‘so you don’t mind me shooting in your face?’ he asks sounding amused. Lance barely contains a shiver, because that sounds wrong on so many levels and he’s pretty sure Keith isn’t even aware of it. 

The gun is still up in Lance’s face, so it’s a bit difficult to see Keith’s expression. But Lance knows the jerk is teasing him, taking more time than necessary.

Lance shakes his head, ‘nope, not at all, go ahead.’ His voice is a bit high, Lance can see Keith smile. ‘I don’t care at all.’ He lies again. Still not more believable than the first time he said it.

Keith adjusts the goo nozzle in his hands. Lance clenches his eyes shut, ready for it. Except it doesn’t come, instead Keith lowers the nozzle onto Lance’s chest and travels it down agonizingly slow. Lance’s eyes snap open and his breath hitches.

‘Since you obviously wouldn’t mind getting it in your face I guess I’ll just have to shoot you somewhere even more embarrassing.’ Keith says airily. 

Their eyes meet, Lance becomes increasingly aware of Keith’s weight on his lap, the burning grip around his hands, the slow drag of the goo gun on his chest. His skin is too hot and clammy and his heart threatens to jump out of his chest. 

Shit, Lance realizes, he’s enjoying this. He likes being pinned down like this. By Keith of all people. 

‘What’re you-’ His eyes grow to the size of dinner plates when he finally catches on to what Keith’s doing. He trashes underneath Keith, bucks his hips up, he tries not to think about what this might look like to other people, or what it does to him. It doesn’t do anything to stop Keith.

Keith promptly shoves she nozzle down Lance’s jeans. Lance is mortified. Because he shouldn’t want that down there, doesn’t want that down there, he corrects himself. Should definitely not want Keith so close to his dick. We’re rivals, he tells himself. 

It doesn’t help. 

‘Keith my man, please no, you’re not actually- come on, you can’t be serious. Por favor, lo siento-’ He begs. Actually begs.

Keith is deadly serious. He’s smiling, the devil, doesn’t care that Lance is begging. The coldhearted bastard pulls the trigger. 

It’s lukewarm, sticky, and slowly filling the front of his jeans. He can feel it squishing when he moves his legs. ‘Oh my god.’ Lance groans, his face is on fire. He drops his head back, stares at the ceiling, can’t bring himself to look at Keith.

‘I can’t believe you actually did that,’ he says, more to the ceiling than Keith. 

‘Serves you right.’ Keith answers, voice smug. Lance wants to bang his head against the wall, stupid jerk doesn’t even realize what he’s done to Lance. At least he doesn’t, until he pulls the goo nozzle out of Lance’s jeans. 

Lance whimpers. The wet slide against his thigh too close to his dick for comfort. They both freeze. When he finally dares to look at the boy on top of him Keith’s cheeks are flushed.

He doesn’t know what to say, has no clue how to salvage this situation.

‘What the hell.’

Shit, Lance thinks. Shitshitshit.

Pidge stands in the doorway of the kitchen, she’s looking at the two boys on the ground with a mix of amusement and irritation. 

‘Shiro told me to check up on you guys, see if you didn’t murder each other.’ Pidge starts, walking around the counter to take in the situation fully, she leers at Keith on top of Lance and wiggles her eyebrows. ‘I see there’s no need to worry.’ 

Keith turns even redder, he lets go of his arms and quickly stands up, leaving Lance and his soaking wet crotch full on display. Pidge whistles.

‘It’s not what it looks like.’ Keith tries. Lance hides his face beneath his arms. Pidge will never believe them, even if they are telling the truth.

Pidge pats Keith on his shoulder, ‘It’s fine,’ she says, ‘I’ll tell Shiro you’re getting along just fine.’ And then she’s gone. Lance wails. He has never been so embarrassed in his life.

‘I- ehh,’ Keith looks hopeless. Face red to the tips of his ears. Lance can’t look him. Lance can never look at him again. 

‘I’m sorry.’ Keith eventually blurts out.

‘Just get back to chopping the fucking chicken.’ Lance whines. Keith does as he’s told straight away.

Lance slowly gets up and gets back to work. He tries to ignore the fluttering feeling in his stomach as he watches Keith chop the fake chicken and his stomach certainly doesn’t do any flips when he notices how tight Keith’s shirt is sticking to him. Definitely not.

But when Keith hands over the chopped chicken and they’re fingers brush there’s no denying that Lance’s heart skips a beat.

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops and here I am a month later.  
> I'd forgotten I was going on vacation and I didn't have any internet so I couldn't update, I'm sorry.  
> I hope this chapter makes up for it...?  
> Inappropriate use of the goo machine you're welcome.


	3. Chapter 3

3.

It’s supposed to be an easy recon mission, nothing too dangerous. Just to figure out why the Galra have a base on this relatively harmless planet. It’s strange that a planet under Galra rule can still be so thriving. Walzopa is a popular holiday destination, according to Allura and Keith can see why. It’s beautiful here. It reminds him of a tropical paradise. 

The streets are decorated with colorful tiles, the houses covered in alien flowers, there are stalls everywhere with merchants trying to sell souvenirs. Honestly the whole place looks like it’s been colored in with watercolors and Keith is loving it. It’s brimming with life.

Hard to believe there is a Galra military base just a few miles outside of the city. 

Nobody pays them any attention. All thanks to Pidge’s newest invention, it makes them appear as aliens to everyone who isn’t wearing the device. It doesn’t make Keith feel any less restless though, he tries to relax, but it’s simply impossible, knowing there could be Galra around every corner. The locals may be left to do as they please that doesn’t mean they aren’t being watched.

The other paladins don’t seem to have that much issues with relaxing. Even Shiro seems peaceful, not as driven by their mission as usual, he has a smile on his face as he takes in the foreign city. 

‘Oh my god, guys look!’ Everyone’s attention diverts to Lance, who is almost vibrating out of his skin with excitement. He’s pointing across the plaza, where the tiles slowly devolve into a stone path that leads straight into what seems to be a sea. The enormous body of water is vibrant blue, with a slight pink tinge because the beach around it has pink sand, the path leads through the sand into the sea, like a stone pier, floating on water. It’s breathtaking.

‘They’re surfing!’ Lance exclaims. He’s right, in a way. In the water there are people doing something similar to earth’s windsurfing, only their sails are made with brightly colored leaves stuck together and their boards are made out of glass, as if they’re gliding just on the water. When they jump they float through the air, further than you ever would on earth. It looks amazing.

Lance is staring in awe, grinning like an idiot, his eyes are sparkling, he looks so happy. Then he turns so Shiro, ‘Can we please go do that?’ he’s looking up at Shiro with big questioning eyes, like a puppy, Keith thinks or a small child. Normally Keith would think that it’s ridiculous, but he can feel himself wanting to give in, Lance looks so excited, so happy, why not, he thinks. 

Shiro hesitates, ‘We’re on a mission,’ he starts, Lance ups the puppy eyes a little, somehow makes them spark even more than before. That does Shiro in and Keith can’t blame him. ‘But I suppose we could split up, you guys can go surf and -’ he starts but is interrupted by Pidge.

‘Actually we can’t.’ she says, with a sad look on her face, ‘I haven’t tested our disguisers in water, the chance that the holograms will falter or drop is highly likely.’ 

Immediately Lance’s expression drops. He hides it with a smile though, but it’s fake, nothing like the one from just before, nothing like the one that was just for Keith.

‘I’m sorry Lance,‘ Pidge tries to apologize, Keith’s not the only one who recognized Lance’s fake smile. She lays her hand on his shoulder, but Lance shrugs it off. 

‘It’s ok!’ Lance tells her, a lie. Keith can see it and if Keith can tell than all the other paladins can too. It hurts Keith’s insides, seeing Lance like this. Lance continues, ‘Shiro’s right, we’re on a mission, we don’t have time anyway.’ 

Keith wants to argue, they have all the time in the world, they’re just looking around anyway. All they’re doing is questioning the locals about the Galra base, they could do that just as well if they went surfing. 

He doesn’t say anything though, because how much he would like Lance to have a good time, it doesn’t change the fact that Pidge is right. If the locals were to see a bunch of humans they would tell other people and the Galra would hear about it.

‘Besides you guys need me to charm all the ladies into spilling the secrets of the Galra empire, am I right?’ Lance jokes. Pidge rolls her eyes.

Shiro laughs, ‘I don’t think there will be any seducing needed Lance,’ he squeezes Lance’s shoulder and then leads them back to the plaza. Nobody else sees that Lance’s expression drops again once all their backs are turned to him. Keith does, Keith even noticed how forced that joke was. Lance’s heart wasn’t in it. 

Their eyes meet and Lance quickly looks away. That’s unusual. But things haven’t exactly run smooth between the two of them ever since Keith filled Lance’s jeans with space goo. Keith has to admit, that was entirely his fault, he just wanted to embarrass Lance more than he had embarrassed him. He had known that just shooting him in the face wouldn’t do it.

Looking back on it now Keith can admit it was a stupid idea. Equally embarrassing for them both once Pidge entered the room. He did say sorry though and Lance seemed to accept that. Unfortunately it didn’t get rid of the awkward tension that’s now festering between them. 

Awkward for Lance because of what Keith had done to him and what Pidge had seen and awkward for Keith because he just couldn’t get the sound Lance had made out of his head. Every time he looks at Lance that sound plays over and over. It’s driving him crazy.

They spend the rest of the day pretending to be tourists, asking the locals about all sorts of things and by doing so also subtly asking about the Galra base. It’s by the end of the day that they finally meet someone who might be able to tell them something. It’s a weird looking fellow, even by alien standards, its face is scarred and its wearing ratty clothes. From behind a flower stall, it motions to them to come closer. 

‘Heard you were asking ‘bout that Galra base outside of town.’ The alien says in a surprisingly squeaky voice, immediately Shiro’s back straightens, eyes on alert. They had been subtle about it after all, nobody was supposed to know, they were just tourists passing through.

‘Easy there, I’m not your enemy.’ The alien assures and Shiro seems to relax, if it wasn’t for the stiffness in his shoulders Keith would have believed him.

‘How can we trust you?’ Shiro asks. The alien grins.

‘Ask that princess of yours, we’ve been helping her hide that castle the whole day, impressive peace of tech I must admit.’ Shiro frowns, but Pidge is already on it.

‘Allura do you copy, there’s an alien here who says its been helping you all day.’ it’s silent for a while then Allura’s voice echoes through their ear pieces:

‘Paladins it’s alright, Plenor has helped us hide the castle just as she says.’

‘Why?’ Keith cuts in, because even if this Plenor has been helping them, there has to be a catch. There is always a catch. His fingers itch to grab hold of his Bayard, but the reassuring weight of Hunk’s hand on his shoulder keeps him grounded.

‘No need to get hostile, we might be able to help each other out, I can tell we’re of the same sort, not really happy with how things are run right now, if you know what I’m saying?’ 

Shiro nods his head. ‘Ok so if you want more information about that base come to the Wonsil, tonight, find Ansil and tell her Plenor sent you, not too hard yeah?’

‘I’m sorry, but why can’t you just tell us now?’ Lance asks, Keith can tell from the lilt in his voice he’s annoyed, tired, they’ve been walking around all day and now there is someone with answers they still have to wait.

‘That wouldn’t be wise, in a place like this there are always people watching, listening.’ Plenors eyes shift around, as if she expects people watching them right now.

‘The Wonsil, tonight.’ Shiro repeats, ‘we’ll be there.’

Plenor nods and then within the blink of an eye, she disappears, as if she had never been there. 

*

Keith hadn’t expected the Wonsil to be a night club. It looks like a cave, dark and hollowed out, with inscriptions on the walls and roots from trees and plants coming through the ceiling. It’s weird, in complete contrast with the happy pastel colours of the outside. Red and purple strobe lights shift through the room, Keith squints every time they pass him. 

It’s early enough for it not be too crowded, even so, Keith wants to leave. He doesn’t like the stuffy atmosphere, how dimly lit everything is. The earthy smell that hangs around him makes him feel like he’s been buried alive. He definitely doesn’t like how they’re made to split up, Keith with Shiro and Pidge, Lance with Hunk, asking around for Ansil who according to the bartenders isn’t here yet.

Keith feels himself becoming more jittery as the club fills with more and more people, he presses himself closer against the wall next to Shiro, who doesn’t seem perturbed at all, calmly watching over the crowd, searching for a person he has never seen before. Pidge seems to have long given up, she’s standing next to him, completely immersed in the piece of tech she has in her hand.

Keith tries to keep an eye out for Ansil, but he has no idea what he’s looking for and he reluctantly finds himself looking around for Lance. And Hunk he tells himself, he is also looking for Hunk. He finally sees them, sitting at the bar, talking to each other. Hunk is pulling silly faces, trying to make Lance laugh. It’s a relief, a weight of Keith’s chest, Lance has seemed so down today, at least he always has Hunk to cheer him up. 

Once he has found them though it becomes difficult to keep his eyes off them, particularly Lance. His eyes stray back to the boy time and time again. Suddenly he doesn’t hate the strobe lights so much, especially not when they shine over Lance and give his skin an almost ethereal glow. He looks good, Keith has to admit. 

‘Keith,’ Shiro interrupts his train of thought, his head snaps back to the Black Paladin, who is smiling, a knowing smile, he knows exactly where he was looking just now. Keith’s cheeks burn in embarrassment, because Shiro definitely caught him staring. 

Shiro even has the audacity to rub it in and If it had been anyone other than Shiro, for example Lance, Keith would have decked him in the face. ‘You seen anything?’ Shiro asks with a smile. Keith shakes his head, of course not, he hasn’t been looking and Shiro knows it. The following few minutes he manages to keep his eyes off Lance though, driven by the embarrassing warmth of his face.

‘I’m glad you and Lance are getting along better.’ Shiro says then. It catches Keith off guard, he opens his mouth to say something, anything to keep him from looking like a gaping fish. 

‘Oh they’ve been getting along alright.’ Pidge chimes in, she looks up from the screen of her tablet, white light illuminating her smug grin.

‘That’s not- we told you- nothing happened!’ Keith stutters, a weird feeling coiling in his chest. He feels exposed, even though he knows he’s telling the truth. He wonders what Pidge told Shiro, how much he knows. He doesn’t know why it scares him so much.

‘Keith,’ Shiro says again, soft and gentle, Keith’s surprised he could even hear it above the noise of the music. ‘It’s okay.’ Shiro tells him, he rests his hand on Keith’s shoulder. The feeling in Keith stomach settles. ‘whatever it is, it’s okay.’ 

Keith ducks his head down, doesn’t know what to say, he’s sure Shiro can’t see how red his cheeks are in this light, but he has the need to hide his face anyway. He’s smiling too, he doesn’t know why, but a big weight has been lifted off his chest.

‘Excuuusssse me?’ Someone hisses. There’s an alien in front of them, big, tall, ‘I heard you were looking for me.’ when it opens its mouth three rows of razor sharp teeth become visible and a tongue like a viper. Four beady eyes follow their every movement. It’s intimidating, but Shiro doesn’t seem fazed by it.

‘You must be Ansil, my name is Shiro, Plenor sent us.’ The four beady eyes focus on the Black Paladin, take him in. Keith wonders of it can look through their disguisers, somehow it feels like it. 

The alien nods. ‘Nice to make acquaintansssse.’ It hisses, ‘Our leader would like to speak to you.’

‘Leader?’ Pidge questions, she has finally stowed away her tablet now that there’s something else more interesting.

Ansil’s eyes shift around before the alien leans in, ‘of the rebellion.’ It whispers, tongue flicking out into the air, as if to taste the tension between them.

‘Take us to your leader, we’re here to help.’ Shiro says. Ansil nods but when they move to follow both Pidge and Keith are stopped by a tentacle to the chest. 

‘Juuusst him.’ Ansil says, and nods towards Shiro. ‘For now.’ 

Keith slaps the tentacle away. ‘No way.’ He protests, ‘it could be a trap. We’re coming with you.’

‘Leader does not trust easy, one at a time, pleassse.’ Ansil explains. The alien doesn’t sound threatening, despite its appearance, but that doesn’t mean anything.

‘Black Paladin can take weapon, if it makesss you feel better.’ The alien offers. Keith snorts, not that Shiro would need a weapon if he was really in trouble, his arm would suffice.

‘You can’t go alone.’ Pidge tells Shiro. She turns to Keith. ‘You can’t let him go alone.’ 

Keith looks at Shiro with pleading eyes, but he takes in the way Shiro’s jaw is set, his focused gaze and knows it’s no use. ‘It’s okay. If anything happens I will let you know.’ Shiro taps his ear piece. ‘You guys stick together, I’ll be right back.’ 

‘You have half an hour.’ Keith grumbles, he doesn’t like it, but he knows that tone of voice, Shiro is going and there’s nothing Keith or the other Paladins can do about it. Shiro shoots them a reassuring smile and then disappears with Ansil between the sea of bodies.

‘This is stupid.’ Pidge says. Keith only sighs, he knows. ‘and where the hell is Lance?’ Keith turns to look to the bar, but to his surprise Lance has disappeared. Hunk is standing there, looking lost and before Keith knows it he’s pushing up off the wall and pushing through to get to the bar. 

‘Keith!’ Pidge calls after him, he ignores it, ‘we were supposed to stick together damn it!’ she shouts and then she’s following him. 

‘Where is Lance?’ Hunk almost jumps because of Keith’s sudden appearance.

‘Ehh he said he was going to the bathroom…’ Hunk says. Keith scans around the room, but it’s hard to find anybody in this lighting and with this many aliens all around. ‘Where did that alien take Shiro? Is everything alright?’ 

Keith isn’t listening, his heart is drumming in his ears and he looks around once again. But not once does he spot the Blue Paladin. What if this was all just a setup by the Galra, what if they were trying to separate them so they couldn’t form Voltron anymore. Had someone taken Lance?

‘Keith, over there,’ Keith snaps out of it. He follows Pidge’s pointer finger to the corner of the club, where Lance is standing with another alien, just talking, no not only talking, laughing, leaning into the alien. Looking a little bit too cozy for Keith’s taste. Just like that his worry disappears and makes place for something even worse, uglier. It settles in Keith’s lower stomach and he doesn’t know what to do about it. 

‘Looks like there was no need to worry, he’s just being his usual self again. Flirting with everything that breathes.’ Hunk shrugs and takes a sip of his drink then offers Keith a glass too. He takes it mindlessly. Keith can’t look away, even though he hates what he’s seeing. Hates how carefree Lance is laughing, something not even Hunk managed to do today.

‘We’re on a mission.’ He says. His voice is cold as steel and both Pidge and Hunk seem to pick up on it. ‘We’re on a mission and he’s flirting-’ The glass in under his fingers cracks and his friends exchange worried glances.

‘He always flirts, no big deal.’ Hunk tries to calm him down, because he sees it as Keith just being his grumpy self, always with his mind on the mission. Not today. It doesn’t help, because yes Lance flirts but not like this. Usually Lance is rejected, usually it’s not Lance being the one flirted with. 

‘Shiro could be in danger right now.’ He grits through his teeth, trying to justify himself.

‘Keith, I don’t think your problem is Shiro.’ Pidge whispers, the only one who heard him. She’s right. Of course she is. His problem is the way the alien seems to whisper things into Lance’s ear. His problem is the way Lance leans into the alien’s touch. His problem is that he wants to be the one making Lance laugh like that. 

Then the alien wraps an arm around Lance’s hip, pulls him in close and Keith sees red. Before he knows it he has crossed the dancefloor and is pulling Lance away from the alien.

 

‘Keith! Dude, what the hell!?’ Lance exclaims, struggling to free his collar from Keith’s iron grip. 

‘We’re on a mission.’ Keith hisses, though he’s not looking at Lance, but glaring at the surprised alien standing before them, ‘or have you forgotten?’

‘Keith you need to chill,’ Lance snatches his wrist and pulls it away harshly. ‘I was just having some fun.’ He wiggles his eyebrows and cocks his head towards the alien.

Keith grabs him by the back of the hair and pulls him down so they’re eyelevel. ‘We were looking for you,’ He says, he ignores the way his heart hammers in his chest with Lance so close and instead tries to get his point across. ‘You disappeared. We were worried.’ 

‘and now you’ve found me and I’m fine so you can go.’ Lance presses. 

Keith shakes his head. ‘I’m not leaving you alone.’

‘Keith I know you lived by yourself in a desert for years but for once can you get a hint.’

Keith blinks slowly. Not entirely comprehending what Lance just said. Oh he got it alright, he just doesn’t want to believe it. 

‘You want me to leave you alone so you can fuck some alien?’ He asks incredulously. Lance nods eagerly. His blue eyes bright, like the time they decided to be rivals. Keith feels like he’s been punched in the gut. He lets go of Lance’s hair, who straightens up immediately, shooting an apologetic smile towards his new alien companion. 

Lance turns away from him and Keith grabs his arm again. ‘We’re on a mission!’ he says again, because he doesn’t want Lance to go. Can’t stand the thought of him in some random alien’s arms. 

‘Just cover for me okay? I haven’t gotten laid since earth, man.’ 

Something in Keith’s gut twists. He tightens his grasp in Lance’s arm to keep him in place. ‘No.’ he answers in a pinched voice. 

‘You’re not gonna cover for me? That’s cold.’

‘No, I’m not letting you- we’re- you can’t do this!’

‘Keith you’re not my mama, you’re not Shiro, I can do whatever and whoever I want.’

Something in Keith snaps and he shoves Lance, not hard, but enough to make him stumble. ‘You’re being a fucking idiot and endangering all of us! Just because you want to fuck someone, stop thinking with your fucking dick, not everything is about you!’

Lance freezes, for a moment too surprised to hear so many curse words in one go from Keith, usually he tries to keep everything PG. ‘Jesus what the hell is wrong with you! If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were jealous.’ 

It’s a joke, Keith knows it, Lance is just trying to diffuse the tension. But it’s the wrong kind of joke, Keith freezes and Lance’s eyes widen.

‘You are, aren’t you?’ he cackles gleefully and Keith’s stomach plummets, because how could he know and why is he laughing. His chest aches. ‘You’re just jealous I’m getting laid and you’re not. Mierda Keith that’s a new low, even for you.’ 

The ache subsides, Lance doesn’t get it, of course he doesn’t. It doesn’t really make Keith feel any better.

‘I’m not jealous.’ He says. Not for the reasons you think.

‘Yeah you are, jealous that people are always all over me and you’re always left alone, no wonder you hate me.’ 

‘Oh please, you’re not that interesting.’ 

‘Well then fuck off I’m about to get laid by someone who is interested in me.’ 

‘Interested in how easy you are more likely. You desperately throw yourself at anybody who’s even mildly interested and now finally someone took the bait. Congratulations.’  
It’s way overboard and Keith knows it. He’s just about short of saying ‘you fucking whore’, he might as well have said it because Lance’s eyes narrow, sparkle gone and his tone acidic. 

‘Well that’s better than being an emotionally constipated asshole who’s keeping his friends from getting laid because you’re feeling sorry for your own ass ‘cause no one will ever love you.’

No one will ever love you. It stings. Especially from Lance, not that he had any hope the boy felt the same, but he’d hoped they could at least be friends someday.

The ugly feeling that settled inside his stomach bubbles up again and this time Keith is not stopping it. Because it hurts, he’s hurting and he doesn’t even understand why his eyes are burning with tears but he’d rather lash out than let Lance see what kind of power he has over him. How much those words sting.

‘At least I’m not whoring myself out because I’m so desperate for attention!’

And then Lance punches him in the face. His nose, again. Keith feels it break under the force and all he can think is that he deserves it. Not only for what he said to Lance but also for getting his hopes up, for actually believing Lance would ever feel the same way about him. He shouldn’t have listened to his stupid feelings. He never learns.

Arms circle around his shoulders and chest, probably Hunk, to hold him back from lunging at Lance's throat. It’s unnecessary. Keith has no fight left in him. Why does he always screw things up. Things were getting better, he was actually becoming friends with Lance. And then he had to go and lose his temper. Because of some stupid feelings, jealousy, he couldn’t control.

Tears and blood are running down his nose and he keeps his head down, he doesn’t want anyone to see him like this, least of all Lance. Keith tells himself he’s not crying, his nose got broken, tears are normal. But he can feel the stuttering in his chest, the way his breathing heaves. He clenches his fists and tries to choke back the sobs that are threatening to escape his chest.

He rips his arms free from Hunk’s hold, wipes the blood and snot that’s now falling down his chin on his sleeve. 

‘I’m going back to the casle.’ Keith says. It’s meant to come out strong, but he can hear how shaky he sounds. He hates himself for it.

‘Keith…’ Lance’s hesitant whisper does things to Keith’s insides, he ignores the weak brush of fingers against his arm and turns on his heels, towards the exit. He barely hears Pidge’s shout of ‘You fucking idiot!’ and Lance’s: ‘he started it!’

The cold air feels even icier against his tear stricken face and Keith doesn’t stop running until he enters his own room in the castle of lions. He locks the door, ignores Coran and Allura’s questions about what happened and crashes on his bed. He wishes he could just turn his brain off and stop thinking. He doesn’t want to repeat how he messed up over and over.

Unfortunately for Keith, sleep doesn’t come for him for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.  
> But angsty Keith that doesn't know how to emotion is my favourite Keith  
> Also, I hope this slightly longer update makes up for the lack of update whoohoo


	4. Chapter 4

4.

Lance never thought he would have such intimate knowledge of the ceiling above his bed and yet here he is. Staring at it, for what must have been hours. He’s angry, god he can’t remember ever being so angry, except for maybe that one time when his sister Maria broke his favourite CD.

He’s angry at Keith for being such an insensitive asshole. He’s angry at Pidge for even trying to explain the situation to him, for daring to say such nonsense. An idiot she had called him, and when he had asked why she had told him: ‘He wasn’t jealous of you, you stupid asshole.’

‘Then who?’ Lance had asked. Both Pidge and Hunk had rolled their eyes at that.

‘Who the fuck do you think?!’

Lance has an idea. But it’s ridiculous. Pidge is just screwing with him. He doesn’t want to believe it, can’t believe it, and yet now there is that tiny flicker of hope and it is making is blood boil. He’s mad at Pidge, for getting his hopes up and just maybe, in case she was telling the truth, for making him fuck up so bad. 

But most of all he’s angry with himself. For trying to drown his feelings by other people’s attention.

He fucked up. Everything spiralled out of control.

Shiro hasn’t talked to him yet. Lance doesn’t want him to, even though it’s inevitable, it kind of feels like he’s pissed off his mama, when her eyes are cold and her lips are pulled down into a frown that makes Lance’s heart freeze over.

The Black Paladin had returned from his talk with the leader of the rebellion, only to realize that two of his Paladins had fought again. That single disappointed look he had given Lance was enough to make Lance want to crawl into a hole and never come out. Shiro had sent him back to the ship, much to his embarrassment.

Lance just wanted to have fun. He wanted to forget his worries just for one moment. He doesn’t want to deal with his stupid crush on Keith, how awkward it has been between the two of them the past few days because Lance just can’t get a grip or the fact that Keith will never like him back. 

How did everything get so messed up?

Lance is startled by the intercom screen in his room suddenly blinking to life, ‘All Paladins please come to the bridge.’ Coran’s ever peppy voice echoes through Lance’s dark room. Lance groans and buries his head in his cushion. He isn’t ready for this confrontation yet, would like to put off having to face Shiro and Allura’s disappointed looks for as long as possible. Or even worse, Keith.

He doesn’t have a choice though. As much as Lance hates to admit it, he would only make things worse by staying holed up in his room. So he pushes himself off the bed, rakes his fingers through the mess that is his hair and makes his way to the bridge.

Everyone is waiting for him, Allura, Coran and all the paladins are around the table, together with Plenor and an alien Lance doesn’t recognize, the rebellion leader, he guesses. Normally Lance appreciates having all eyes on him but there’s something very unnerving about everyone halting their conversation and watch him enter the room.

He feels like a child that was caught stealing a candy bar as he makes his way to his seat, unfortunately right across of Keith. ‘Sorry for being late.’ Lance mutters and ducks his head down, avoiding eye contact with the boy in front of him.

‘No problem,’ Shiro says, but Lance can tell from Shiro’s tone of voice that it is a problem and he’s not off the hook, his leader is just not going to berate him in front of two other aliens. ‘Since you and Keith were absent from our meeting with Ansil, Plenor and the rebellion leader, Pidge will fill you in.’, Shiro tells him and Keith.

Pidge doesn’t waste any time and immediately fires into rapid explanation of what he and Keith have missed. ‘Ok so turns out our military base isn’t really a military base but in fact a mining facility.’ Pidge starts, a screen pops out of her tablet, filled with information properties and calculations Lance can only understand half of.

‘Walzopia’s core is filled with some kind of gas that can be used as fuel for spaceships. According to Plenor it’s about twice as powerful as Balmeran crystals and there’s only very little of it needed.’ Lance knows he should be listening to what Pidge is telling him, but he can’t focus on the numbers and data on her screen.

Pidge drones on about all the properties of the gas but Lance’s eyes stray to Keith, who has his own gaze fixed on Pidge. He is having trouble concentrating too though, Lance can tell, his fist on the table is balled up tightly, the muscles in his jaw are clenched, his back rigid. Keith looks like hell, there are bags under his eyes, his nose is swollen, already colouring a nasty purple. It’s probably broken again, courtesy of his own right hook. Lance doesn’t feel as good about it as he thought he would.

‘If they succeed in gaining enough of this gas the Galra’s ships will be about twice as fast as ours, with canons twice as powerful, which means a lot of trouble for us.’ This piece of information snaps Lance back into focus. He takes a deep breath, no one needs an explanation to know how bad that is. The Galra are already on an outright witch hunt for them and every time they barely manage to escape. Lance doesn’t like to think about the day when they can’t outrun the Galra anymore. 

‘On top of that, much like with the Balmera’s, the planet will slowly start dying, the gas is naturally produced by the planet but overexploitation could result in the collapse of the planet. The Walzopians are unaware of this fact and the Rebellion only recently discovered it by accident. They want to put a stop to it before it’s too late but up until now didn’t have the resources to do so.’

‘According to Plenor’s inside sources it’s only a matter of days before the Galra can begin mass distribution of the gas so we will have to act quick. With the rebellion’s inside knowledge we can sneak in tonight and blow the whole place up before it can blow up in our faces. As I said, the gas is highly flammable so one little spark will bring down the whole facility and the mines underneath it, and they’ll never be able to use them again.’ The screen disappears and Pidge nods.

‘Thank you Pidge,’ Shiro says and rises from his chair. ‘Allura and I have talked about it and we think it’s best to act as soon as possible, tomorrow morning, with the help of the Rebellion and our Disguisers we’ll be able to infiltrate without a problem. Allura, Coran and Plenor will stay here to navigate us through the facility, Hunk, Pidge, the rebellion leader and I will infiltrate.’

Lance frowns, but before he can ask any questions Keith beats him to it. ‘Uhm Shiro,’ what about me? What about… Lance?’ Lance hears the hesitation when Keith says his name, and he wishes it wouldn’t sting him as much as it does.

Shiro sighs, it looks like he’s dreading this conversation more than Lance is. Lance grits his teeth, he already has his suspicions to where this is going. ‘I’m sorry Keith, but this is a stealth mission, we’re already with four, any more of us and we would be too easily discovered.’

‘No offense to anyone here,’ Lance speaks up, ‘but if this is a stealth mission shouldn’t you send me and Keith?’ He ignores the surprised look Keith shoots him, he’s still angry at the boy, but if he’s going to defend himself he might as well defend Keith. Despite their fights and disagreements, they are still a team, and a damn good one too if Lance says so himself.

‘Usually I would,’ Shiro agrees, ‘but I can’t trust you right now.’

‘Excuse me?’ Keith is gaping, his mouth half open while he looks at Shiro with disbelieving eyes. But this isn’t Shiro their friend they are talking to, this is Shiro their leader, the Black Paladin and he is unrelenting.

‘Your behavior today was unacceptable, we’re Paladins, we’re supposed to support and protect each other. As long as I feel like you two will be at each other’s throats the whole time I can’t trust you and I don’t want you on my team.’

It’s a punch to the gut. The eyes of the two aliens fall on them and Lance can feel the shame crawl up his neck. He knows he screwed up, that they screwed up, but he didn’t think it would be this bad. He didn’t think Shiro would actually exclude them from missions. He almost couldn’t believe Shiro would lay their shame so open on the table for two alien rebellion leaders. Not only their shame, but shame for his whole team.

Lance sinks into himself, tries to make himself smaller and ignore the piercing eyes focused on him. Keith isn’t having it, he looks furious. ‘That’s ridiculous! You’re seriously going to keep us here?’ He bangs his fist on the table, the force reverberates through the material.

Shiro nods, his face expressionless, like cold steel.

‘Then what are we supposed to be doing?!’

‘You’re on standby,’ Allura cuts in resolutely, ‘for emergencies, until then I suggest you two start working out your problems. With the way things are now it would be difficult to form Voltron.’

‘You’re risking this entire mission just because we had a little fight?’ Lance bites his lip, there was nothing little about their fight and they both know it, Shiro wasn’t there and even he knows it. It’s typically Keith though, all he cares about is their mission, wanting to be part of it, wanting to do well, Lance gets it, but it’s what got them in this mess in the first place. It’s what started their fight.

Allura’s eyes narrow to slits, she rises from her chair, towering over them both. ‘I’m not risking the mission Keith, the rest of your Paladins are just as capable as you are, maybe you should remember that.’ The icy tone sends shivers down Lance’s spine.

Keith bristles, his mouth snaps shut, his cheeks turn red from embarrassment and he looks away.

‘Fine,’ he agrees, his voice painfully clenched, not angry, hurt.

‘If anyone’s looking for me, I’ll be in my room.’ Keith spits out and bursts out of the room.

Allura sighs, ‘Out of everyone in the universe Voltron had to choose a bunch of hormonal teenagers.’ 

Shiro wipes the invisible sweat from his forehead, his exasperation clearly showing on his face. ‘Sometimes I feel like I’m the father of that bunch of teenagers,’ he agrees. Then he turns to Lance, and Lance wishes he had run after Keith. 

‘I don’t care what happened, Pidge and Hunk told me enough, what I do care about is how it is jeopardizing our cause.’ Lance nods slowly, Shiro’s gaze for him too heavy to hold but he also can’t find himself looking away. He kind of feels like he deserved the disappointment that’s swirling in them right now. Not like other times, this time he and Keith went way overboard and he feels bad about it. About everything.

‘Fix it.’ Shiro says. It’s final. Lance finds himself nodding again and then he’s getting up from his chair and scrambling out of the room. His cheeks are burning, he feels like a little kid all over again. When Lance enters his room he crashes down on his bed. He doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know how to fix this.

Saying sorry would be a start, he scoffs at himself, because he knows that, of course he knows that. But it’s not that easy. It’s that stupid pride thing they have going on, their rivalry, or whatever. Lance can’t apologize. That would mean Keith wins. 

But… Lance doesn’t really care about winning right now. It just all seems so silly. Usually their fights are about something stupid, but he feels like this time they really hurt each other, this time they hit some truths.

Pidge said Keith was jealous. Not of him, but of the alien. He didn’t want to believe it at first, now he can’t stop thinking about it. What if...

The Keith Lance knows would have hit him back. The Keith he knows wouldn’t have just stood there, blood dripping from his nose, shoulders shaking and hitchy gasps escaping him. They’d been so loud, it broke his heart, and for a moment all his anger had disappeared and he had just wanted to sooth Keith. He shouldn’t even have heard it over the loud music in the club, but Lance had a hard time not being attuned to Keith’s every move. He had never been good at keeping his eyes of off Keith, it seems incredibly stupid he hasn’t realized before.

‘I made him cry.’ Lance mumbles into the pillow, squeezing the fabric so hard he can feel it stretching under his fingers. ‘Fuck I actually made him cry. Told him nobody would ever love him while I- While I-’ He can’t even say it to himself. ‘Shit!’

The pillow goes flying through the room and hits the opposite wall with a dull thud. He needs to apologize, they both need to, and not just because of the team. Lance wants to. He was actually enjoying this friendlier Keith. It was awkward as hell, but he doesn’t want to fight him anymore, not when he knows how bright Keith’s smile is when he finally lets that scowl drop from his face or how he’s surprisingly mischievous. He enjoyed that, their weird moment in the dining hall, their awkward but fun food fight. He doesn’t want to give that up.

He pushes himself up from his bed resolutely, he needs to fix it, right now, he’s going to suck up all his pride and just apologize, maybe one up Keith in being the bigger man. He grins, yes, that way he would still win. He marches towards the door, opens it and runs straight into Keith.

‘What- you,’ Lance stammers, stumbling back a bit, Keith’s eyes are comically wide, mouth shaped in a soft ‘o’, like he didn’t expect Lance to be in his own room. Lance expects to be annoyed, but Keith looks so soft, his chest flutters and he can’t take it. Against his will he falls into his usual defensive role around Keith. ‘What are you doing here?’ he asks.

The change in Keith is immediate. His back goes rigid, his arms cross and he puts up his chin a little, trying to make himself appear taller. Keith takes a deliberate step back, putting distance between them. He opens his mouth, hesitates, and Lance takes the time to look him over. His nose is not as swollen anymore, the purplish bruises faded in a soft yellow, apparently Keith took the liberty to use a healing pod. 

‘I came to apologize.’ Keith blurts out.

Lance freezes. Out of all the options that’s not what he expected. Even if he did, he had not imagined Keith looking like he does, faint blush on his cheeks, eyes almost pleading. His brain can’t compute, this is not what he planned at all, and all that leaves his mouth is: ‘What? No.’ 

Keith blinks, his eyes flicker, surprise maybe, hurt, but it’s all quickly replaced by anger. ‘No? What do you mean no?’ he demands. 

‘I mean no! You can’t do that, I was going to apologize!’ It’s completely irrational, but Lance just can’t help himself with Keith. The words aren’t right and he just knows Keith is going to misunderstand again but he doesn’t know what else to say. 

Keith’s mouth falls open at his ridiculousness, and somewhere in the back of his brain Lance agrees with him. ‘Are you serious right now?’ Keith manages.

‘Yes I am.’ Lance answers, because his mouth just never listens, always just has to run on and on. Because there’s a bigger part in his brain that’s afraid of what Keith has to say, to find out the truth, to acknowledge the elephant in the room. ‘I was going to apologize first!’

‘Oh my god are you seriously making this into a competition right now?’ 

That offends him. Because it’s not all just him. It’s both of them. And he can’t let it go. He never can with Keith, doesn’t know how else he can get him to listen.

‘Don't blame this on me!'

‘Fuck off, that’s not what I said! Stop acting like a kid!’

‘A kid? As if you don’t want to win. You’re always trying to win, always one upping me, bringing me down in front of the team.’ He doesn’t know where this is coming from, his own insecurities are getting the upper hand again, they’re spiralling away from the point, the whole reason he wanted to apologize in the first place. But there's the fire in Keith’s eyes he loves so much, it's blazing and he knows he has Keith’s full attention now. 

Keith steps forward, gets all up in his face, but still doesn’t step into Lance’s room. Still keeps his fucking distance, mocking him, goading him on. ‘Why is everything with you a fucking competition?!’

‘Because you make it into one!’ He accuses. Despite knowing this isn’t what he want, he doesn’t want to talk to Keith like this. But Lance can never resist rising to the bait.

‘No, YOU do. I’m doing my best to save the universe! Unlike you I don’t fuck around!’

‘Yeah that’s why you always have to rub it in my face.’ That’s not true. That’s not what he wanted to say. 

‘Well maybe if you just did your fucking job I wouldn’t have to, you immature piece of shit! Grow up! We need to work hard or it could get us killed, why don’t you fucking see that!’

That’s it. Lance snaps. He pushed it too far and now he just snaps. Like always he doesn’t know when to stop, until Keith actually says something hurtful and he bites back. 

‘Yeah well you’re a self centered asshole. You think this is easy? Being pulled from earth and our families, without saying goodbye, fuck my parents don’t even know if I’m alive or not. You don’t know what that’s like, you have no one! You were dropped in a fucking desert! Try to place yourself in my fucking shoes, or anyone else’s on this team!’ 

Keith’s face immediately falls.

‘Fuck you.’ 

Lance is used to Keith losing his temper, he’s not used to the crack in his voice that sounds suspiciously like built up sobs and he wishes Keith would punch him in the face, it would hurt less than breaking his own heart.

‘Fuck you Lance! Don’t you fucking dare- Shiro was right! We are a problem, and I came to apologize. Because I actually wanted to! Not because of some stupid competition you have going on in your head. I was sorry. But I can’t. I’m tired and you- you drive me crazy! I don’t know-’ Keith is stumbling over his words now, so desperately trying to express himself that tears spring to his eyes and he has to hide his face. 

Shit. Lance turns his head away, can’t stand the thought that he did this, again, that’s twice in a row. It makes him sick to his stomach, Keith came to apologize, something he knows the other boy has trouble with, and here he is trying to tell him how he feels and Lance shuts him down. Keith gathered up all his courage and he only made it so much harder for him. Just because Lance can’t get over his own goddamn pride. 

‘Y-you know what? Just- Just fuck you.’ And just like that Keith turns to leave.

No. This is not what was supposed to happen. He was going to apologize to Keith and make everything all right and instead. He has to make it right. 

‘No Keith- I didn’t mean to-’ Lance is not as fast as Keith, but in that moment he feels like he has superhuman speed. He grabs Keith by his arm, wrong move maybe, because Keith turns on him like a trapped animal.

‘Let go.’ he hisses, ‘Let go right now or I swear to God Lance I will break your nose and no healing pod will ever be able to heal it.’

Lance doesn’t let go, because if he lets go now it feels like he’ll lose Keith forever. He needs to fix this somehow, he’s the one good with words. He never has trouble expressing himself, only when it comes to Keith, he supposes. That ends now. 

‘I don’t care.’ he says and looks straight in Keith’s eyes. When he notices even a hint of hesitation he pushes on. Keith tries to pry his hands off but Lance holds on. ‘I don’t care!’ He repeats. 

‘You can break every bone in my body for all I care, just let me fix this, please don’t go, fuck I- I shouldn’t have said that. That was way overboard.’

‘You were.’ Keith agrees and there’s still a sharp edge to his voice, but the feral look in his eyes that said: 'one more step and I’ll punch your teeth out', was gone. 

‘I didn’t mean to say that. I was angry and saying things just to hurt you, because you hurt me and shit I can’t stand to lose to you.’ Lance lets out a shaky laugh. ‘You’re right I am an immature piece of shit. I’m sorry.’’ 

He let’s go of Keith’s arm. He’s not sure if the boy is going to run away again, he could, Lance won’t blame him. Keith doesn’t move, actually he looks unsure of what to do, his eyes are flickering everywhere but at Lance, still looking for an escape, but not moving, even though he could easily overpower Lance if he wanted to.

Their eyes lock. Keith’s eyes are still watery but they’re hard, not so overcome by emotions as before.

‘You hurt me.’ He says. It pains Keith to admit that to Lance, he can tell. 

‘I'm so sorry, Keith.’

‘I tried to apologize and you seriously hurt me, everything always turns into a fight- and I just can’t- I’m tired and I...’ Keith trails off, he still can’t find the words.

Lance is not sure what to say, but he wants to know what Keith thinks. He was afraid, he’s still afraid but he can’t let his fears ruin this again. He decides to help. 

‘What are you tired of?’

The silence drags on forever, or so it seems. 

‘I’m tired of fighting, Lance.’ 

Lance is too. He’s so tired. He thought it was the only way to get Keith’s attention even though Keith told him it’s not true. Despite their talk at the dining table nothing changed. Keith didn’t speak to him anymore, everything between them became awkward and the only way to get his attention was bickering with him in the kitchen. After that he was so embarrassed they avoided each other even more. 

Until tonight, until everything exploded. But even then, even if Keith was just pissed at him for sabotaging their mission, in some sick way, he was still glad to have Keith’s attention on him. That’s why he egged him on. That’s why he just couldn’t stop. But he pushed it too far.

He wanted to make Keith smile. Not cry. 

He slowly steps closer to Keith, he doesn’t want to startle him, and reaches out for his arm again. He’s not sure what possesses him when he trails his fingertips up towards Keith’s shoulder. He’s even more surprised that Keith lets him when a moment ago he tried to bite Lance’s head off. Keith holds his breath when Lance pulls him into his chest and wraps his arms around him. 

‘I’m sorry.’ he murmurs into Keith’s hair. Keith is a bit stiff in his embrace, his hands are pressed against Lance’s chest, ready to push him way at any moment but he keept repeating it until Keith exhales and sinks into Lance. He’s a little bit taller than Keith, and he likes the way Keith fits into him. Smaller but strong and sturdy. Safe. Lance knows it’s not forgiveness, far from it, but it’s something.

‘I’m tired too.’ Lance admits softly. ‘I don’t want to fight anymore.’ I don’t want to hurt you anymore, that’s supposed to go with it, but he doesn’t dare to say it.

Keith’s fingers curl into his shirt. ‘Ok.’ he agrees, small puffs of breath tickle Lance’s clavicle, and warmth spreads through him. 

He pulls away to look at Keith, ‘Ok?’ he asks with an amused smile.

‘I mean, We should- We should talk this out,’ he clarifies. Keith hasn’t forgiven him yet, who would, after such harsh words, the blush on Keith’s face just fill his heart with hope a little. Lance knows he is a drama queen, he owns it harder than all of his sisters combined, but maybe he didn’t actually screw up for good this time.

‘Let’s talk. We should, because this, you and I-’ Keith cuts himself off, and the air feels empty. As if even the world around them expected Keith to finish that sentence and finally put the unspoken truth out there. But they're both unwilling to admit it just yet. 

Keith steps out of Lance’s embrace. ‘We ehh- we owe it to the team, to voltron,’ he stutters. 

It doesn’t sting like Lance thought it would, he’s studied Keith’s face often enough to know there’s more. Something he’s not sure how to tell Lance yet. It’s ok, he can wait.

‘For the team.’ he agrees. He’s not ready either, first he wants to apologize, and then he wants to become Keith’s friend. Not a rival, a friend, if they can do that then maybe after that… who knows.

Keith does that cough again. The one Lance knows is fake and he can’t believe Keith actually thinks that works. He decides to humour him though. 

‘So are you ready for the best apology ever?’ Lance jokes. 

Keith’s eyes narrow again, ‘I thought this wasn’t a competition?’

‘It’s not!’ Lance holds up his hands in defence, ‘I’m just stating facts.’ he winks and fingerguns. Not on purpose, definitely not on purpose, he was trying to be cool, not make a fool of himself. But he's feeling lighter already, a little giddy from the hug Keith just gave him.

Keith rolls his eyes. ‘Sometimes I forget how lame you are.’ 

Lance sticks out his tongue, Keith does it back and it’s strange how easy they can fall back into friendly banter. Lance didn’t think it would be so easy. 

‘Anyway I’m sure my apology will be a million times better than yours.’ Keith says. 

Lance’s eyebrows shoot up, ‘I thought you said this wasn’t a competition?’ he asks, lips curling into a cheshire grin.

‘Oh my god, Lance! I swear to God-’

But then Keith laughs, and it makes Lance wonder how he ever believed that fighting with Keith was a better way of getting his attention than making him laugh. He could do that forever, if Keith let him, no casualties involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM a year later she comes back with plot. A bit of plot. And FINALLY a confrontation that seems to be leading somewhere, maybe next time they'll actually communicate for real (LMAO NO) . 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading and I'm sorry for the looooong delay, but I am determined to finish this. And thank you very much for all the lovely comments who gave me the courage to pick this up again!
> 
> Let me know what you thought of it in the comments <3

**Author's Note:**

> I have given up. I am in voltron hell. 
> 
> This will be 6 chapters long, it has the 5 + 1 thing going on but the chapters are a bit long and I am trying to have a bit of plot going on. So far I'm already working on chapter 3 so updates will be... frequent I hope? I'm not making any promises.  
> There might be smut, I'm not sure yet, let me know if you want it, because there is always room to work it in.
> 
> I don't know any spanish, there's not a lot of it but if you spot mistakes let me know! Same goes for English, it's not my first language, if you spot any mistakes, let me know!
> 
> Comment to let me know what you think <3


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